Date night with Jesus

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I mentioned a few days ago that I would blog about my date night with Jesus and how he took me to greater depths. Well this is an email I sent to my dear friend, Natalie, about my night. I thought it was easier to copy this then try to remember all the details - because I don't want to leave anything out.

Wow! What an evening. At first I questioned if I should share what my night was like - should I keep it close and not tell you or anyone else? But I sensed my wonderful Creator say, "If you went on a life changing date with the love of your life, would you keep silent about it? No, you'd be calling every one of your friends to tell them about it." So that's why I'm emailing you.
After our lunch, I kept asking over and over, "Lord, what do you want to do tonight?" And it started to get panicky, like...Okay...what are we going to do??? Hmmm???" And I was putting so much pressure on Him to show me or tell me what to do...Again. And what He told me was, "I want you to go home and take a nap." Okay. Now I know that probably sounds more like ME, but I know it was Him.(Cause I was ready to "do"). It was a tender, loving, "I want to take care of you and deal with some things and we can't deal until you're rested." So I laid down and napped for almost two hours. There were a few times during that two hour span that I would wake and say, "Is it time to wake up?" And He would respond, "No, not yet. Rest a little longer". When the time came to wake up, He said, "Let's go watch the sun set." "O...kay....where?" "Just get in your car and let's drive." He took me to Sonic to get my favorite drink...peach tea. We went to the library park and I sat there, drinking my peach tea and being impatient. Okay, God...what now? It was that awkward kind of waiting where I'm just like tapping my fingers and He's just looking at me like, It's okay. Silence is good. (Silence for me has been frustrating).
He finally said, "Okay. Let's go." "Where?" "Just drive".
We drove and I ended up at Lifeway. At first I questioned, again if this was Him or me. Shouldn't I go home and dive into the Word? Shouldn't I go home and clean or do something productive? Oh, me. But we headed to Lifeway, me sipping my tea, listening to love songs on the radio. It was such a sweet drive. I began to feel like I was on a date with the Creator of the Universe. And it was great.
When I walked into Lifway, this book JUMPED out at me. It's entitled "Crazy Love" and in smaller print it read: Overwhelmed by a relentless God. Are you screaming yet?? I picked it up...sifted through the pages and knew this was a Divine appointment for me. So I got it. I also found a book entitled "Because He loves me"...and I got a few more. I splurged. When I left I got in my car and said, "Okay Lord, I'm doing this because I want to spend more time with you. I want to understand how much you love me...but I don't. Why?" And then the tears came. I barely got out of the parking lot and I practically wept all the way home. That deep, throat clenching, raw, cry out to God with everything you've got weeping. Natalie, it was in those moments that He spoke to me, "Now we're getting somewhere." And I told Him I don't know why I run from love. I don't know why, but I'm ready to stop. I'm ready to yeild to His love. The fact is, love has never been comfortable for me.
I really didn't want to go home yet, but He said, "I'm going with you, so it really doesn't matter - we're still on our date"
When I got home, I started in on this book, Crazy Love by Frances Chan. Oh...My...Goodness. What an awesome book. I love the layout of it, too. It coincides with a website. In the first chapter it said to view this video at www.crazylovebook.com . It's the "Awe Factor" video. Nat, if you get a chance, you HAVE to see it. After I saw it (3 minutes) I again, wept. How could the God of this unbelievable universe love me? But tonight, on my date night with the Creator of the universe, He showed me His love. My night has been priceless. I want more of this.
I'm so excited. This is a new chapter. A new book, actually. Of experiencing His love for me. And receiving it. By the way...I left out a huge part of my evening. When I was sitting in the parking lot at the library and was going through my, "What am I supposed to do?" moments, I looked at my rearview mirror and hanging from it was a notecard that I had recieved just last night and placed on my mirror. It's four lies vs four truths about beliefs. They are from my codpendency class and the first one I read, the only one I read because that's when God started dealing with me, was "I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself" and the truth is "I am deeply loved by God and justified, not by what I have done, but by Christ's finished work on the Cross". And on the way back from Lifeway, I dealt with that...recognized it as sin, whether known or unknown, repented of it, recieved his forgiveness and have spent the rest of the evening replacing it with truth. Something broke. Something in me broke. It's the starting point.