Invasion of Locusts

I was reading from the book of Joel today. That's a book that is highly underrated. It's conspicuously tucked away somewhere in the collection of Old Testament books after Isaiah. You know, the books that very few of us tend to spend time in because we can't figure out how in the world pomegranate trees and plowshares fit into our society. I'm still not even sure I totally "get" it. There's some deep stuff that you have to go fishing for, but I believe when I finally do figure it out, or more like when God reveals some things, it will be very eye opening. I started on the first chapter and read about the locust and how they devour, and devour, and devour. It states in verse 4, "What the locust swarm has left the great locusts have eaten; what the great locusts have left the young locusts have eaten; what the young locusts have left other locusts have eaten." I didn't even realize there was more than one form of locust!
From there until the end of the chapter it discusses the response of many. The drunkard's response, the virgin's response, the priest's response, the farmer's response, even the wild animal's response. And interestingly enough...it's all the same. These are very different types of beings or backgrounds, but they are all encouraged or actually commanded to grieve...to mourn. Every life in this passage has been devoured, destroyed, or desecrated. Each "grouping" has been ransacked, pummeled, ruined. But Joel's response and admonition to them is the same...grieve, mourn. In essence, be real.
I have always thought it was interesting and, truthfully, disheartening that when people experience extreme pain or hurt, our culture encourages them to suck it up and not let anyone know they are drowning. This is especially sad in our churches. There are so many women, in particular, who are ashamed or embarrassed by the issue of being caught in a struggling or abandoned marriage that they refuse to let their guard down and be real. I think a lot of it has to do with feelings of rejection - you've been rejected by the one person who was supposed to stand by your side til death do you part, and now you just about can't stand being rejected by a group of people who don't always know how to respond to a situation like that. I think another reason women are afraid to be real is they are afraid of losing control of all feelings, either through rage or possibly opening a dam of tears that might never stop. We feel we must hold it all together because if we don't, who will?
That's why Joel's words to me are so refreshing. Five, six, seven years ago, I might not have understood this text, but now I see it in a whole new light. Joel is encouraging people to be real. He's saying, "Look what the enemy has stolen from you. He's eaten away one thing after another...and what was left, he has eaten that, and even still after that he's destroyed more. And the proper response is to grieve this loss." Allow yourself to feel the pain and grief as opposed to putting on a happy face and going on like nothing ever happened.
I realize there is a balance in this whole process, too. Yes, we need to grieve, but we also need to survive. That's why in an an earlier post I encouraged women to set boundaries on their grieving moments, so they don't get consumed with it. But what I'm getting at is allow yourself to feel your emotions, whether they are hurt, anger, fear, confusion...but turn it over to the Lord. In Joel, not only does he encourage us to grieve, but He adds to that to "cry out to the Lord". He's ultimately the ONE who can turn our chaos into peace. God is not intimidated by our emotions - He created them. He just wants us to not be afraid to experience them, and to yield them to Him. He wants us to be real. So whatever you're facing right now, don't underestimate the process of true grief. Be real with yourself and with your Creator. That's when true healing will begin to take place.

God and pencils

A few months ago, while on the way to school (and rushed as usual), my son, Kailen, went into a panic because he forgot a pencil. He's quite the studious little guy that always tries to do his best and takes school very seriously. So this was a big deal. I said, "Kailen, let's ask Daddy for a pencil today." Right then in the car line, he and his sister, Dani, and I thanked Jesus for somehow providing a pencil for Kailen that day. After saying Amen, I told Kailen to be aware of the way that Jesus would provide a pencil for him - whether finding one on the ground, or a friend giving him one, or ??? who knows? I just encouraged him to be aware of how our Father would provide and then for him to say "Thank you" when He did.
That night at bedtime, I asked Kailen how Daddy provided a pencil for him. He said with excitement, "Today my teacher was giving out pencils!!" I said, "See? He knew you needed one and He had that pencil just for you!"
Fast forward several months and the same scenario came up again, today. This morning we're headed down the road toward school when Kailen gave out an exasperated sigh. I asked him what was wrong only to discover he didn't have a pencil. I could sense the panic in his voice but before I could answer, Dani said triumphantly, "Hold on! Dani to the rescue! I have.....(fumbles through her purse and pulls out...)a PENCIL! It's a little short, and hot pink with no eraser, but it's a pencil..." and with that she handed him this stubby bright pink pencil - an absolute nightmare for a nine year old boy. I quickly glanced at him to see his priceless expression of "You have GOT to be kidding me!" Then the panic struck in again - a whole new one of "I can't be seen with a PINK pencil! Are you KIDDING me?!?" So I tried to smooth things over by frantically searching my side car door pocket area. I had just cleaned out my car last week and knew there were a few pens in there, but I didn't recall seeing any pencils. But as I glanced down, I noticed something that appeared to be just that...a pencil. I reached my hand down and pulled out the best looking pencil you can imagine. It was sharpened to the sharpest point with a beautiful, never used eraser on the end. But the best part? It was blue and said, "Smile, Jesus loves you". I quickly handed it to him and said, "Look at what Daddy provided for you today. He did that especially for you because He wanted you to know that He loves you! It wasn't by chance that you forgot a pencil today. He wanted you to get THIS pencil!" You should have seen the look on Kailen's face! It was like he had just received the keys to the kingdom!
As I was thinking about that, I wondered how many times Daddy speaks to us and we seem to not even notice. I have had so many incredible stories happen to me in the past two years that simply take my breath away and leave other people saying, "How does this happen to you? You have the oddest, strangest God experiences." The truth is, we all do. I don't believe there is a day that goes by that our Daddy isn't trying to speak to us in some way, conventional or otherwise. Often times we choose to believe it's happenstance or purely coincidental. But I challenge you to open your eyes a little wider and notice how He lavishes you and how He speaks to you. Even in heartache, He's there. He just wants us to lift our eyes above our circumstance because He's got everything under control. He sees every tear that falls, He hears every unkind word that's been spoken, and He cares deeply when we've been hurt or experienced pain. So when life seems to get a little too unbearable, I encourage you to look for the ways in which He tells you how much you are loved. It may be in someone calling you or sending a note, but it may be in some quirky, strange, untypical way...like a pencil.

Time to Breathe

Finals are over...I'm finished with the first semester back at school! YEEEE HAWWWW!!! I feel great, even though my last test was hardly impressive, but that's okay. It's nice knowing that I accomplished two more classes and have them neatly tucked underneath my educational belt. There were so many things I was invited to this evening...things that I needed to do and things that I wanted to do. But when I finished my final assignment, I just laid back on the couch and breathed.

Do you ever feel like you just need to take a breather? From life in general? These last several months have been challenging, to say the least. So many different emotions I experienced were excitement, panic, fear, exhilleration, exhuastion, overwhelm-ment (I made that word up), peace, anger, and relief. Sometimes all in the same day...(smiley face) And now there's quiet. The kids are with their dad, the final assignments are turned in, the television is off, and the air condition is gently blowing. And it's time to breathe.

One of my favorite lines that I've read and I can't remember who said it, (so if you recognize it...please post it) is "The problem with life is that it's just so daily".
What a great line. It says so much in so few words. How much of life is going by without stopping and taking a moment to breathe in? I think in our society we completely underestimate the power of just sitting. Just listening to the quiet around us. It's beautiful when you have a moment to indulge and sit.

I know many of my dear friends are not at a place mentally or emotionally where they feel they can breathe. They are enduring all those emotions I wrote about a paragraph ago. And my heart hurts for them, but it also smiles for them, because I know they will one day experience the stillness around them and it won't be terrifying or heart wrenching. They will relish in it and Thank God for it. It's one of those things that if you let it pass by it won't go TOO unnoticed, but if you take the time to enjoy it...it's priceless.

So as you read this post, I hope that you'll take advantage of your life and grab a few uninterupted moments...even if you have to schedule them in. Don't underestimate the ability to breathe...to rest...to enjoy. His mercies are new every morning, and each day He breathes new life into us...the least we can do is breathe it, too.