Life has been moving very quickly recently, and at times I've really had to hang on or I would lose my focus. I finished a challenging, yet rewarding summer class in Art Appreciation, which included me making a sculpting out of soap. It was a pretty intense class due to the fact that approximately five months were crammed into two, but I'm happy to say not only did I survive (which was the ultimate goal), but I thrived and took home an "A". God is SO good! Since then, I've really been trying to learn about balance. Balance between church, work, kids, boyfriend, and any social life. At the same time, life still continues on with everyday "stuff". Recently, there have been a lot of questions in my life like "How?" "When?" and "Where?" He's already answered the "Who?" (Thank you, Jesus). And many times I've found myself walking a fine line between pleading with God and telling Him what to do. Ever been there? So one day, as I got in my car for lunch, I said to Daddy, "So, here we go again..." and I began to dive into my list of issues. Then, in His ever so quiet, yet BOLD way, He spoke to my spirit and said, "Kristi, I am your Manager." Huh? And he said, "What does a manager do?" I immediately thought of a singer's manager, like a famous country artist...The manager sets the dates, makes the appointments, speaks on behalf of and plans every detail of the tour. All the artist does is show up. He said to me, "Everything you're concerned and worried about is MY job. I am your Manager. All you have to do is show up." Wow! There's freedom in that!
Then again this evening, while I was doing my hair, I started in - again. Because that's what I tend to do...dwell, think and try to figure out. And the Lord, once again, reminded me that it's not my place to figure out all my concerns. At that moment I began to say outloud..."Thank you, Lord, that you've taken care of everything and "I" don't have to worry about it!" The awesome thing is, if I am seeking the Lord's will in EVERY area of my life, I don't have to figure, plead, wonder or question what is going to happen or how things will occur, because HE wants His will for my life even more than I do! So I get to sit directly at His feet and watch as all He has in store for my life unfolds and falls into place. After all, He's the Manager of it all and knows how to run things MUCH better than I do. Thank you, Jesus!

Smiling again

It's been a while since I've last written and SO much has transpired in my life. I've worked at VBS, gone on a middle school church retreat and met the man of my dreams...all in a matter of weeks. If you had told me a few years ago that I would be glowing, ecstatic, and giddy beyond belief...I would have seriously doubted you. But what the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good.
I know many of you are still in the "cellar" wondering if you'll ever get out. Questioning if life will ever be good again - maybe for the first time for some of you. And I'm hear to shout a resounding "YES!" Life is hard, but God is faithful. He's got a plan for each one of us, and when we yield to HIS ways, he does indeed bless us. My reward came in the form of a Latin teaching, choir singing, singles leading, God seeking champion. I never dreamed God would have someone like this man out there - especially for me. I could believe it for someone else, but not necessarily for me. And the Lord called me on that a few months ago. We discussed that very issue - not accepting that God has good in store for me. As we conversed about this I asked my Daddy, "Why? Why do I struggle believing you have a perfect person for me out there?" And do you know what His answer was? "So you'll settle for what the enemy has planned for you." Talk about being stunned. It hit me hard. Jesus exposed the lie of the enemy and I finally started believing that He has a plan that includes not only good things, but the BEST. WOW! We SO underestimate our beautiful Creator! He must look down and shake His head, thinking, "Are we dealing with this AGAIN??" I'm so grateful for His patience with me.
So as I sit here writing this, I just want to extedn hope to my sweet female friends who are fighting the same battle of the mind, questioning God's goodness. We need to remind ourselves daily of how good He truly is. When we question His goodness, it's easy to fall into the lack of faith frame of thinking, and then the devil can wreak havoc in our lives.
I am a different person than I was four years ago, and I thank God for this journey, because although it's been so much tougher than I would have ever imagined it to be, I am a new creation. I'm happy, excited, at peace and...smiling again. Thank you, Daddy!!

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when the Lord fell all over you? This weekend has been that way for me. God has done some AMAZING things in my life this weekend. Things that only HE can do. I have been so full of Him, watching as He moves...and I am overwhelmed. Can I just say something? Daddy is up to something. And if we as believers don't plug in on it, we're going to miss it. The harvest is ripe.
Our world has experienced so much chaos recently. Just this year ALONE in our country we have seen devastation all around us through weather. UNUSUAL weather. Daddy is speaking. He's trying to get through to a "people" to let them know time is short. There are so many people all around us, every day, that are searching for someTHING to fill the void in their lives. And as Christ followers, we have the answer but we often act like we're still searching, too. It's time for the church to stand and be the church. Last week in VBS we were discussing what would have happened to Paul had his nephew not warned him of pending doom. The churchy answer was, he would have been killed. I don't necessarily believe that. I believe that God would have done a God thing and saved Paul, but the nephew would have missed out on an opportunity of a lifetime to unite with the Creator of the Universe in a miraculous story. And I believe it's the same for us. God is going to do what God wants in our surroundings, but it will be our loss as believers if we let the opportunities slip by.
So I challenge you today to search out what God is telling you. Be aware of His constant presence. Know that the King of Kings wants to involve you in History making. The signs are all around us - who will go?

I can't let this day get by without blogging about my precious Heavenly Daddy tonight. Tonight I'm so enamored by how wonderful He is. I was sitting on the back deck looking out over my yard and seeing little flashes of light everywhere and it struck me...Who but Daddy would even THINK about creating a bug that lights up? I mean seriously...and I'm so grateful that he didn't make them dangerous or painful bugs like bees or wasps because then we'd constantly be in a state of fear all around us in the evenings. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks like this, but...He made me this way. And then there's the whole issue of "How does he make those bugs light up?" I mean it's not like electricity is connected to them or they have a built in battery. I'm just so amazed at how creative He is.
Today was such a beautiful day, physically and spiritually. To be able to stand with other believers and worship our Daddy is such an honor and a privilege. He truly takes my breath away.
So whether you have a physical Daddy here or not, remeber today that your Heavenly Daddy is so in love with you. Just enjoy Him this week for who He is.
Happy Father's Day!!

Another Unnamed Hero

I posted a blog yesterday about Vacation Bible School and our theme being heroes without a name. As I was thinking about this coming Sunday, I jumped right back to the theme and had to write about the one Hero in my life who has never changed. My dad.
Some of my fondest memories are traveling with him to see family friends, Lenny and Joy. Dad would take one of us kids on certain outings once in a while and each one of us felt so special when it was our turn. Another time was when our families (Lenny and Joy - again) went to "Worlds of Fun" in Kansas...and Dad and I rode on that big, huge barrel thing that spins, and spins and then the bottom drops out. Know what I mean? I thought I was going to be sucked down and dad grabbed my arm as we held on for dear life. Then there was the Christmas when we had tons of people over and it had snowed outside, and dad was helping me with this really big kids clock - teaching me how to tell time.
But most of my greatest memories were after we moved to Nashville. In the sixth grade I began walking to church with dad on Sunday mornings. We had some great times traveling Pennington Bend. It was early, but it was worth it. And throughout the week, I could drop by and visit at the church office at any moment. One moment was when two boys in my class at school died in a house fire during the night - and I grieved for them. Dad just sat with me and listened and advised, being tender and sensitive.
Then there were the years when I was married...had kids...and finally the divorce. A lot of years went by there. Some laughing hysterically, and others weeping. One time when my spoouse was demanding a divorce and had moved out, my air condition unit had leaked. I couldn't figure out at the time, where it was coming from. Dad came by and found it. It had leaked all over my box of most precious treasures, like years of old pictures, journals, and momentos. At that time I just couldn't take anymore - he and mom started laying out HUNDREDS of pictures all over the house while I wept uncontrollably. Praise God all was salvaged, except just a few. That was rough but even then, I knew I could count on him for anything. And that still applies today.
God has blessed me with the most wonderful dad in the world. He's been my tickler, teacher, worship leader, hand holder, driver, cheerleader, encourager, listener, advisor, handyman, gardener, mentor, and friend. He's always been the same in front of people or at home. And he's been a physical picture of what my Heavenly Daddy looks like.
So for Father's Day and every other day of the year, I just wanted to let everyone know what a true Hero looks like. He might not go down in history books or have lots of acalades. He might not have a Super Hero name, or wear a cape. But to me he's the greatest Dad in the world. I am blessed.

So, summer is officially here...well, I guess not OFFICIALLY officially, but it FEELS like summer. When it's getting up to 94 degrees out - it's summer. We just finished a week at VBS, Hero Headquarters. I was at our new campus, Stewarts Creek, this year (I've always been at the main campus) and so it was a new experience. As usual, we had our typical over zealous kids in each group, but for the most part it was pretty good. The whole week was geared toward unnamed heroes in the Bible...the boy who brought the fish and loaves, the girl that told Naaman about the prophet who could heal him, and today's lesson was about Paul and his nephew.
As one of my closest friends and I discussed just this week...if anyone in Christian history had a right to complain it would have been Paul. He was put in jail, shipwrecked, beaten, bitten by a snake...and those are the stories that were written about in the Bible. Who knows what else he endured? But we don't see him complaining or giving up.
I'm going to be real here. Recently I've found it difficult to write because I've been complaining. Don't get me wrong, it's been a "holy" complaint - if you will, but nonetheless it's been complaining. I've been struggling with decisions made by friends that I felt saw eye to eye with me on HUGE, serious, spiritual issues. I thought we were compatible and in agreement completely. But we're not. And that really stinks.
A few weeks ago I had to confront my friend - hopefully I did it in love - about some sin issues. It wasn't received the way I had hoped, with complete acceptance as truth. And I've talked about this and talked about this with my Daddy, wanting to know WHY my dear friend is being deceived. And I realized how He must feel.
If every true believer would get angry and hostile toward the enemy who is trying to steal, kill, and destroy...this world would be turned around. But too often we're busy flirting with the enemy. We'd rather blame God for the things the enemy does in our lives than to see the devil for what he really is - a deceiver. A rotten, ugly, vicious, hateful, destroying, malicious, horrific deceiver.
When are we all going to begin to fight back? Fight for marriages and family? For purity and innocence? For what's RIGHT according to the Word of God...and seeing it as right, not as an "option" for christian living? I seriously believe some of the greatest weapons of mass destruction in believer's lives are apathy and lethargy.
There is darkness all around us, and it shows itself in the form of smiling faces that are fighting holiness. If we're called to be a peculiar people, which we ARE, than our lives should show it in the everyday decisions we come against. We have the power of the Living God at our disposal, but we often times forget that, or simply don't believe it. But it's the TRUTH. Paul knew that. And that's what kept him going, not giving up. He was sold out.
So I'm going to try to complain less and pray more, believing that the seed is planted and that the Great Gardener will produce fruit. I'm going to try to remember that there is an enemy out there knowing he has little time left to do much destruction. And I'm going to continue to fight for truth and spiritual freedom in lives all around me.
Maybe the kids weren't the only ones that learned something from Hero Headquarters this week.

Well, it's been a little while since I've written last. I guess you could say I've taken a sabbatical - done a little "soul searching". I've been going through some more difficult times, but trusting that the God who has seen me through SO much will see me through all this junk.
Today was extremely disheartening because one of the classes I needed in order to get my certification was cancelled. I didn't find this out until I had waited for about thirty minutes for my instructor to show...and she didn't. There was one other student waiting with me and she finally checked her registration info to find out our class had been cancelled. Talk about frustrating. This has such a trickle down effect. You might think - Just take another class, or wait until it comes back around. The frustrating part is, I have to have two classes in order to qualify for my financial aid. So if I don't get another class, I have to either drop the one class I started last week OR I'll have to pay out of pocket - which really is not an option for me. I came home and immediately started looking for another class, which brings me to my next issue. I can't find anything that is conducive to my work schedule and if by chance I did, they're all closed by now.
SO...after bawling my eyes out on the way home, I decided to expose every raw emotion I had to my Heavenly Daddy. I love that He is not intimidated or threatened by my cries of frustration. He can handle me bawling, squalling, and blaming.
My pastor preached an awesome sermon (as usual) last Sunday about a woman whose son had died and left her with no one to take care of her. She was already a widow. He pointed out that Jesus walked a whole days journey just to heal her son. He went out of his way to do this because He cared. I'm also reminded of the time that Jesus went to heal the demon-possessed man that lived in the grave yard. Again...he went just for him. It's not like he was going to spend time in the grave yard, himself. These are two stories that show the compassion of our Jesus and how much he cares for us. You see, I'd always figured these stores happened on his way to somewhere important. But I'm seeing that these were places out of the way, places he intentionally went because he had a Divine appointment with these people. And I'm reminded that He cares about these details that seem to shake my plans. He isn't caught off guard and He knows what He's doing.
One phrase I try to live by is extremely simple to say, but hard to implement. But it's something that I strive to think fluently. And it is: I can't. God can. I think I'll let Him.
So when I can't figure out what my plans for school are, God can...I think I'll let him. When I struggle with letting people around me make stupid, selfish, or down right wrong decisions, I have to remember: I can't fix things for any of them. God can. I think I'll let Him. When I see other friends and family hurting financially and experiencing terrifying situations...I can't fix things...God can, though. I think I'll let Him.
The truth is He's been doing this a LONG time...He knows what He's doing. And I just have to trust that He's capable of taking care of EVERY detail of life. After all, I can't, God can...I think I'll let Him.